![]() But to put on my women’s studies hat for a second, it’s worth reiterating that we normalize the erosion of consent and boundaries when we push little kids to give adults hugs and kisses. People frequently give me “dude, get over it” eye rolls when I speak up about how hugs (especially from men I do not know very well) make me cringe. I usually keep my anti-hug stance to myself, as I sound like a cranky young feminist weaponizing human kindness to be divisive. As a little lady who frequently passes as a teenager with early onset graying hair, I love handshakes. My favorite people are handshake people, who make me feel respected and very fancy. Maybe they smell my anti-touch social anxiety and decide to keep their limbs away from me, or maybe they were raised to keep their hands to themselves with strangers. ![]() There are also people who do not impose hugs on other people those people are my heroes. I learned this lesson the hard way when an ex’s mom kissed me on both cheeks three times whenever I arrived at their apartment. ![]() Greetings and farewells are typically more intimate in Europe, where kissing people’s faces is a normal thing (what the hell, Europe?). I’m not sure if that’s a New York City thing, or a millennial thing, or United States thing-social norms vary from state to state, culture to culture. Thanks, I hate it! Keep your body away from my body! Do not touch me, as I do not like it!Īt some point, hugs became normalized as the polite way to greet one another, and to bid adieu. Nothing makes me cringe more than when I’m hanging out with a group of friends and acquaintances, and the end of night everyone does that “saying goodbye” dance where each individual has to hug every other individual, even if they do not know each other. I do not like to be hugged by people who are not close friends or immediate family. ![]()
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